What it means to be Ukrainian

Sunday, September 22, 2024

Careers approved for Ukrainians to pursue

Me in the lab at Rockefeller University circa 1975

When I was growing up, I was expected to become a doctor, a lawyer or an engineer. Those were the only 'respectable' professions among the Ukrainian diaspora of the time. My brother became an electrical engineer working in the budding computer industry, my sister became a doctor and well-respected infectious disease consultant. Both earned their degrees on full scholarships, my brother on sports (soccer) and my sister on academics. None of us would have been able to afford university otherwise.

I didn't care for the idea of being a boring lawyer. I had no idea what engineering was. I saw how hard my sister worked to get her medical credentials -- no way was I going to do that.

My father used to always tell me that because I was born in America, I could become President one day. I suppose that would have been a fourth option. But it seemed like a stretch for the daughter of immigrants to reach for the Presidency of the United States of America in a society where women were meant to stay at home and have babies.

I loved science and I craved to be near, on, or in the ocean. I loved looking at the stars and sky. At first, I thought I'd become an astronaut. I suppose every kid thought that in the 1960s. But I actually went after it only to learn I was too short and wouldn't be able to reach the controls in the capsules. LOL.

So next, I read Rachel Carson and I thought I could become a marine biologist and save the oceans. I was desperate to learn how to speak dolphin. I applied to Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute but was turned down. Then I applied to the University of Miami and NYU, Miami because it had an excellent Marine Biology program and NYU because it had an oceanography exchange program with Woods Hole. I received full scholarships to both but I chose NYU. The semester I got to NYU, they cancelled the exchange program and I was stuck with no marine science. I majored in biology and chemistry, had several minors including anthropology, and completed my BA degree in three years instead of four. I wanted to get on with life.

I got a laboratory job at the very highly acclaimed Rockfeller University and hated it. Then I talked my way into a lab at Roche Labs. I hated that too. Had nightmares about killing rats, which I sacrificed by the hundreds in the name of human advancement.

I transitioned into marketing and to make a long story short, ended up as President of several communications companies. My mom always introduced me as 'my daughter the President' even though she never had a clue what I did. So I guess my father was right. In America, his daughter could become President one day.

As President of Dugan/Farley Communications
which later became Bozell Global Healthcare

As President of the HBA

A winner of the HBA STAR award

Saturday, September 21, 2024

A visit by cousins

Growing up in Philadelphia, the cousins were all quite close. I was much younger than most of the crowd, having been the result of a celebration by my parents after arriving in the New World, a mistake as my mother explained. Two cousins in Toronto, the only ones from my mother's side of the family, were my age, one older and one younger than me. My sister was closest in age otherwise and she was nine years older. My brother was almost 11 years older. So it was like growing up with two sets of parents.

But then, cousins who had gone to Australia first decided to join the rest of the family in America. Bo was my brother's age but Mishka was only 6 years older and that made a difference when I was 6 years old. She was still a kid but the others were already grown up. Miska became my favourite cousin.

Fast forward, and we are now in our 70s. Mishka married a South American doctor and went to live in Venezuela. Sadly I never visited her there. They escaped when the regime became autocratic and moved to Florida. I hadn't seen Mishka in more than 20 years when we got an invitation to her daughter Natalia's wedding. It was great fun to see them again, the girls Ara, Lesia, and Talia, and, of course, Mishka. It was like no time had passed.

So when they planned a trip to the UK, they included a two-night fly-by to County Mayo to see us. That's not nearly enough time, and they literally 'did' the UK first, arriving exhausted. But it was great to show them our little corner of the world. Reconnected at last.

Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Easter in Ireland with Ukrainians

On Easter Sunday we hosted a traditional Ukrainian Easter lunch for the 8 Ukrainian families we helped the most, a few Irish friends and German friends in residence. About 40 people in total.

We had an Easter egg hunt for the kids, ate ourselves silly, walked up to the top of the land for the views over Clew Bay, and then we had dessert. I made my first ever studenetz and it was delicious, and over the span of the week, I systematically produced a menu that included Ukrainian vegetable salad, potato salad, tsvikla, horseradish sauce, lamb, and ham as well as a walnut mocha torte. Alex made paska, pashtet, baked four loaves of bread and rolls. Our friends brought cakes, a duck, casseroles, and other goodies. We were afraid we wouldn't have enough food in traditional Ukrainian fashion! Everyone went home with doggie bags.

They are my new family. I have adopted all these amazing Ukrainians. There was joy in the world today and it displaced the sorrow felt every other day. I was too busy to take any decent photos.

What a journey this has been for me in Ireland with the Ukrainians. Easter Sunday, they were marvelling at Alex's paska, the traditional Easter bread. They had heard about the traditional one being sweet and plain but decorated with symbols.

In modern Ukraine, they have moved away from the traditional ways and adopted new ways of decorating their paska with icing and coloured sprinkles. They also branched away from sweet and some do savoury, and variously flavoured. The Christians still bless it in their Easter baskets on Easter Saturday.

Most had never seen a real pysanka. They were astounded that I had real eggs painted in intricate detail in my basket.

The Crimean tatars were celebrating the beginning of Ramadan but they joined in the camaraderie. It was lovely having them with us.

It's fascinating to everyone that my Ukrainian, being more than 70 years out of Ukraine when my parents fled, is more authentic than theirs. They say I have an American accent in Ukrainian, but I use all the old Ukrainian words not the Russian ones that infiltrated the language. They love reading my Ukrainian history books because they are learning all the history that was suppressed under soviet rule. The wonder of it all.

I never could have imagined this journey.

Monday, November 27, 2023

Giving thanks

My cousin Myshka's youngest daughter Talia is getting married in Florida tomorrow. Alex and I decided we'd make the trip. We hadn't seen Myshka in more than 20 years, incredibly. We'd seen the Myshky -- Ara, Lesia and Talia -- but still a very long time ago. We decided to make the trip given that there is a direct flight from Dublin to Orlando and they live in the Tampa-St Petersburg area about a 3-hour drive. A visit to warm weather and longer days was beckoning. Seeing the family gave us a great excuse and a really important reason.

We booked business class as we discovered it was a 9-hour flight. We got up early and had to drive to Dublin in the morning. On the road before sunrise, we made it to the airport by 10 am. As a perk of Business Class, you get to use the Lounge while waiting and Dublin has two. You also get to bypass security at preclearance and you get on the plane first. It was class.

The plane was a brand new A330 Airbus. We had reclining seats! So we got to sleep for a while, even though in this direction you need to stay up. I watched two movies, including Elvis which was great, and a Wes Anderson movie called Asteroid City which was bizarre. We flew through a lot of turbulence but otherwise, the flight was uneventful.

After spending the night at a monster resort near Orlando, we made our way to a beach house in Indian Shores. A lovely lunch at Caddy's on the intracoastal waterway, a walk on the beach, and a swim and book session in the morning, gave us our taste of Florida without much heat or sunshine.

Then it was on to Myshka's for Thanksgiving lunch with the family. Tears, laughs, memories and catchup made the time fly. It was as though we had not missed a month much less several decades. That's what it means to be a Ukrainian family.

We all shared all the stuff we'd been doing for Ukrainian refugees in our respective communities. Talia has been amazing, organizing her church to support the delivery of whatever the soldiers need on the front lines. She befriended a Uki soldier who came to Tampa for training at the military facility there. He sends her lists of what they need, and she gets donations, procures the goods, and has them delivered to the front lines directly. Our amazing little Talia. She even sent them two drones!

Marta Fedoriw routinely organizes fundraisers for the key organizations providing support from the diaspora. Alex and I have sponsored families, secured housing, gotten kids into school, arranged for medical care, translated where necessary, and I taught English in Newport and Westport for a year. Everyone had their own contribution to share. The war on Ukraine is a war on the diaspora worldwide. That's what Russia doesn't understand.

We squeezed in a visit to the wonderful Salvador Dali Museum in St Petersburg before the wedding.

The wedding was brilliant. A family friend who is a priest in Ottawa officiated and he was a riot. He explained everything in English so the groom's family and friends would understand, he joked and he made it fun. At the reception, he danced up a storm and a kolomiyka was inevitable with former Voloshky present. Talia looked gorgeous in a stunning dress, and she was so composed. We loved James from the first moment and we think she made a wise choice. Natalia and James Rhodes.

It was a wonderful week. We capped it off with a breakfast for 20 at the hotel with tearful goodbyes and promises to visit more often -- not to let 20-plus years go by without connecting.

Slava Bohu is Slava Ukraini.

So with a one-night stay at Margaritaville to top it off (not as great as expected and frightfully expensive for the delivery), we are now sitting in the airport lounge waiting to fly home. An 8-hour plus flight and a 3.5-hour drive home awaits us. So do my kitties. I miss them, especially little Ghostie!