A foreigner in my home land
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| Ukrainian-American family at home in 1958. I'm the baby. |
by Daria Blackwell
I grew up Ukrainian in America. My parents were immigrants from this Eastern European country with a rich culture and tumultuous history. They left their country unwillingly when the Bolshevik and German fronts collided on their doorstep during WWII. They were among the millions of displaced persons leaving a land they loved for the unknown but promised potential of life in a more peaceful world. More on that later.
This is my story at the moment. Because here I am, a Ukrainian of the diaspora, feeling powerless to help a country I feel allegiance to but I have never seen. Ukraine is in turmoil and I feel I should be there to assist. Russia has invaded once again. Does it never stop? I've played RISK. I know the answer.
I was born and grew up in America and now live in Ireland. I did not learn to speak English until I went to school. Yet I've never been there, to Ukraine that is.
I went to Ukrainian school every Saturday until I was 18 and graduated with Matura, having studied the language, history, geography, religion and culture. I hated Uki School. When all the Americans had a day off, I had more studying to do. But then again, all my friends were Ukrainian so I really didn't know what the Americans did on their day off. We attended Ukrainian Church on Sundays. So the weekends were packed with organized activities, especially in the summer when camp, soccer matches and events took place. I was living an intense Ukrainian social life in an American microcosm out of which I rarely if ever stepped out. It was a cocoon. It meant I couldn't go skiing as often as I wanted to. Or even shopping.
I was Ukrainian Byzantine Rite Catholic but I had a few Orthodox friends so I learned about the religious aspects first hand. I belonged to Plast -- Ukrainian Scouting -- whereas many of the Orthodox belonged to Sum. I even learned Morse Code in Ukrainian. Does that count? Sort of like Navajo.
My friends were all in the same schools, the same social circles, the same communities. We lived in very nice ghettos in the city of Philadelphia. The communities were fluid and tended to move upmarket in tandem. Wherever some people moved, so did the others. Like a nomadic flow into the promised lands.
My father was a shopkeeper, and he and my mom took care of the community providing access to all the best known ethnic foods. They supplied meats from the German butchers who had the best. They bought sausages from the Ukrainian meatpackers. They bought fish and produce from the markets in Philadephia, but they bought only the vegetables and fish their people would know. No crustaceans in our shop. We were the centre of life in the Ukrainian Community. The church ladies brought us their pyrohy to sell.
My father was the manager of the Ukrainian National Soccer Team, but that's a whole other story. Let's just say he was a well known and important man in our little community. So I had standards to live up to.
The most acute aspect -- and perhaps the most conflicting in some ways -- was that I was raised first and foremost to free Ukraine from the USSR when the time came. Luckily for me it happened all on its own. Whereas all my friends and I were taught the we'd have to fight for freedom, that wall just came tumbling down one day and we were lost. I remember thinking, "What do I do now? Everything I was geared up for has just flown out of the universe. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to wait and see."
Now, I am waiting and seeing all over again. I am in dire conflict. I watch the news, as do all my friends. I tweet more then some and less than others. We all Facebook and write to Congressmen and political "leaders". We explain to people who have only just heard of Ukraine. We correct the grammar -- "No, it is not 'the Ukraine', it is Ukraine, a sovereign country." Here I am speaking, writing, tweeting on behalf of a land I have never visited but that is more a part of my soul than any other. One that has been torn apart so many times, it must be heard, it must stand up, it must break free once and for all. And I intend to play my part.
But I do not understand. What is my part? Is it in my DNA?
Daria, i know well what you have gone thru. One difference is I was born in Lviv, at the same time as the Russians were occupying a good part of Ukraine and Germans were probably retreating, 1943,
ReplyDeleteI was baptized in St. Georges Cathedral, and one day after 6 months, with out a father who was taken by Germans to be part of their army, my mother had to leave Lviv and her closest family behind to save ourselves from the occupation of invading Russians, I understand from mom, that we were lucky to get grabbed by people on the train as it was departing and last one out.
Lived in Austria for 6 years in a DP (displaced persons ) camp, Finally , after being reunited with my father, we were on a ship out of Germany, provided by the Americans to go to the new land.
Like so many of us, we wound up in a land, that at that time, people in America were not really friendly to us because we were DP's, so we all lived in a tight circle of our Ukrainian lives. The rest is no different from your life, but now I also am in a tizzy about what can be done, we love Ukraine and our hearts are saddened that we cannot be of help because of age and distance.
The only suggestion I have is pray for peace with minimal hardship and death, and be of positive mind, we will see Ukraine as an independent country, if her neighbors really want to help prevent a World War 3
SLAVA UKRAINI !!!!!!!!!!!!
HEROYAM SLAVA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
George, you may have been on the same train as my parents. They left from Yaroslaw and were told it was the last train heading West. They too went to Austria where my uncle was in medical school. Their exodus after that was much more convoluted. Yes, Slava Ukraini!
Deletei believe i know your brother, and your father had a grocery store on 11th st, in the Logan section . Your brothers face and hair are not items that can be forgotten. lol
ReplyDeleteThat's us! My brother's hair and attitude are priceless. lol
DeleteI am like you but live in NJ. Newark was the area where my school once held classes including Saturday ones. I never finished matura. I left Plast but my parents, my brother and I spent 2 years in London. While there my mother had the chance to take me to Austria and show me where a DP camp stood and the church where they prayed for Ukraine while waiting to go to Germany and board a ship to America. I have not visited Ukraine as would fall in love and not want to leave. Father went back several times and made a video walking through muddy fields to find the grave of his mother who died when he was only nine. Her first family remained in Ukraine...her second husband fled to America. I speak Ukrainian, miss my parents who have passed recently and have been watching the days unfold in Kyiv and now in Crimea. Just like you, this country is in my soul. I have family in Philadelphia and we are all praying. What else can we do? The images of the fires & flowers & candles remind us that heroes exist. We are all heroes for Ukraine. She needs us now more than ever. I know God is listening.
ReplyDeleteI lived in the apartment across from the church in Newark when I had my first job in NY. Amazing how small the world can be.
DeleteInteresting and breathtaking story. Great written. I do believe that very soon Ukraine will win in this battle against the Russian evil and will be free and rich world country and many people of Ukrainian origin will be able to come back to their Motherland.
ReplyDeleteand why exactly are you not able to come back now?
DeleteYou might enjoy this blog.
ReplyDeleteDaria, You have described me , as well as my friends, completely.
ReplyDeleteMy father also ran his own business.
The differences are that my husband is the well known and respected soccer coach/manager in the Ukr. community, and that we were/ are members of a vibrant youth organization of CYM (American Ukrainian Youth Association).
LOL!!! We are all so connected!
DeleteWow. We all hated Ukie School but appreciate it years later. I subject my 3 kids to the same thing and tell them "you will thank me later".
ReplyDeleteThis probably applies to tens of thousands of Ukrainians throughout the world. I grew up in Cleveland, then later moved to Detroit. I also am a bandurist and have travelled the globe performing for many Ukrainians throughout the diaspora and even in Ukraine - during the Soviet era and after. We are all alike throughout the world. Vyacheslav Chornovil told me (and gave me an inscription) "Where a Ukrainian heart beats, there is Ukraine there".
I believe our role in the diaspora is not return and fight, but inform our respective communities what the real truth is - Putin is engaged in a disinformation campaign as a true KGB operative, but the world in general isn't buying it because, in a small way, people of our generation are in positions to inform the West - be it Ukrainian Americans working at the State Department, US Embassy, Universities, etc.
Great blog!
Slava Ukraini! Heroyam Slava!
It's interesting because although I hated Uki school at the time and my parents told me "you'll thank me later," I actually did thank them later. I became an expert in cultural competence, specifically in healthcare. And being immersed in multiple cultures allowed me to understand things the "Americans" did not see.
Delete"Where a Ukrainian heart beats..." I love that. Thank you for sharing. And keep informing.
Uki school for us was Tuesday night.
DeleteMonday, Wednesday, Friday nights was dance class.
Saturdays was tsymbaly lessons.
Sundays was church.
The only difference was I stopped all of it when I was in high school.
Regretting it so much now. But I just had a daughter...
Mwahahahaha!
Daria you hit this one on the nail . This could be so many of us living freely in Canada and the USA. Even though I'm a first generation Ukrainian .My children also only spoke Ukrainian before starting english school we also tortured them with Ukrainian school for 12 years . Truthfully in the last few years as i viewed corruption running rampant in Ukraine I felt bitter and betrayed for all those years that I spent fighting for her freedom in the west . I was ashamed that my beloved Ukraine was being run by crooks and that the perception in the west was that all Ukrainians are thugs and opportunists . I blamed the Ukrainian people for allowing their chance at freedom and democracy to falter. But its interesting that since November as the students began their demonstrations and the Ukrainian people started to show up in Kyiv on the Miadan I could no longer turn away from Ukraine and watch as Putin and his henchmen interfered in her sovereignty .So for now my mission is to keep writing letters to editors correcting errors and spreading as much of the truth about Ukraine amongst everyone that crosses my path . I guess when my dad raised us to be warrior princesses and to fight for Ukraine it was so that we could be there when she needed us most. Slava Ukraini !!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHere is some info on Ukraine re: The 2010 Kharkiv pact Ukraine signed with Russia .http://www.reddit.com/r/europe/comments/1zfdae/ukraine_russias_real_intent_the_kharkiv_pact_of/
Laika, I went through the same. Feeling ashamed of the corruption and the lack of progress toward real democracy. And like you experienced, this crisis has transformed that for me. That real people have taken a stand and even the oligarchs are standing behind them, is a real positive step.
DeleteYes, spreading truth and explaining to people that someone who speaks Russian can still be Ukrainian, just like someone who speaks Ukrainian can be American.
Daria, I too am a first generation But Canadian. Support your Ukrainian American Council with funds. They know what they are doing and will distribute where it is needed. Continue to write emails to your politicians. reach out and join the Ukrainian sites. You will learn more, get valid info and become active. This is our chance to really free Ukraine.
ReplyDeleteMari, I am very active in all the Ukrainian activities. It is really our chance. But we have to remain united in our efforts and not allow the historical differences among splinter groups to alter the momentum.
DeleteI am so overwhelmed by the response to this blog. It has been re-tweeted and shared on Facebook with thousands around the world. When I first wrote it, I thought no one would read it. I wrote it for myself mainly, to verbalize the conflict I was feeling. But to hear from all around the world the resounding interest and confirmation that we all share such a deep and strong common bond is so inspiring. To know that none of us is alone and that perhaps, just maybe, all our voices channeled together will really make a difference gives me renewed hope. I'll be posting again every few days.
ReplyDeleteI have kept a log of major stories about the Euromaidan crisis on Pinterest. http://www.pinterest.com/aleria57/ukraine/ Please feel free to share and add to the collection.
Actually CYM (not SUM ) folks are not all Orthodox There are many Ukrainian Byzantine Rite Catholic as in Plast, what is more important is that they are all Ukrainians that have the same cause and feelings for Ukraine. One can be seven thousand miles away in Vietnam somewhere in the sticks and when and individual runs into another that is Ukrainian out there, they have one thing in common "Ukrainians" and happy as hell to be together. They do not care if one was in CYM, Plast, ODUM or what have you it boils down that it's another "Uke". That's how it should be now, we should ban together for a common cause, and that is Ukraine's Freedom and separation from mistakenly being grouped as russian. Not necessary to bring in the various organizations, as this has always been a problem and separation. Otherwise an nice blog. Slava Ukraini! Heroyam Slava!
ReplyDeleteHi John,
DeleteI meant to reply to you a long time ago. CYM in Cyrillic of course. You are so right about the separatism. I am not sure what is at the root of that, are you?
I am intrigued by your name. Nom de plume?
Daria
It is so amazing to be able to live in two worlds. What insight it provides. We think globally not locally. For me, it includes yet one more world Brazil. All dear to my heart.
ReplyDeleteNadia,
DeleteSorry I didn't reply sooner. My sister lived in Brazil for a year, in Bahia, and met some very lovable Ukrainians there. Lifelong friends.
Daria
Hello, Your article came up in a search I was doing for a research project on displacement and feeling displaced. I was wondering if I can email you? It's probably really staring me in the face, but I can't seem to find a function for it.
ReplyDeleteKind wishes,
Ozzie, Hi, so sorry I have just seen this. Yes, please email me. My address is in my profile. Otherwise send me your email and I will contact you if you are still interested.
DeleteDear Daria! I am Ukrainian from Kyiv. At present I am in Canada (Edmonton). In 10 days I'll be back to Ukraine. Let me invite you to the land of your anscestors. After the war with neonazi Muscovy. I have not a bad command of English and Polish too. My native language is Ukrainian. My E-Mail: swf_ua@yahoo.com. Valeriy
ReplyDeleteDear Valeriy,
DeleteThank you so much for the invitation. When I come, and I promise I will, I will most certainly contact you. Thank you for encouraging me.
Kind regards,
Daria